How far can you go for a “perfect” wedding… without losing yourself in it?

I'll tell you about my personal experience with DIY weddings ( “Do It Yourself”) ”.

A DIY wedding out of necessity… and out of love

At that time, we didn't have much money. My husband was just starting out in his career, and like many young couples, we counted every dollar. Nevertheless, we were rich in other ways: the people around us, generous, present, and always ready to help. And that seemed enough to us.

We chose to get married in winter, for very personal reasons. I then took everything upon myself. Absolutely everything.

Finding a venue near us, pretty and affordable. Negotiating the price. Planning the day's schedule. Finding the right people to help. Organizing the menu. Finding a master of ceremonies. My husband took care of the photographer and other details. Besides that, we had to think about the tableware, the decorations, the invitations, the little details… those little things that, added together, become a huge burden.

In my eagerness to do everything perfectly, I'd almost forgotten the most important things: my dress, and the hairdresser! At the very last minute, I found the dress I really wanted, and a hairdresser friend agreed to come and do my hair there. A relief… among so many other urgent matters.

The week before the wedding: when the pressure becomes too much

Because yes, even the menu became a source of tension. Last week, some people complained. I was asked to add an "extra." Since I'm a very good cook and wanted to please everyone, I agreed. Even now, I know I never should have.

The day before the wedding was a whirlwind. The phone wouldn't stop ringing. I was cooking for the guests, preparing that "extra" item, hosting friends who were helping with the planning (for last-minute recommendations) at home—who also needed feeding—all while continuing to sort out a thousand last-minute details. I went to bed at one in the morning, exhausted, my mind racing. And I knew the alarm would go off at six.

The big day: being there… but too tired to enjoy it

That morning, I no longer had dark circles… I had bags under my eyes!

When the ceremony began, instead of being swept away by emotion, I just wanted to sleep. Even now, I remember that day as one of the most exhausting of my life. What should have been a bright memory was instead tinged with weariness and tension.

Despite the rehearsals and discussions, nothing really went as planned. Endless phone calls to resolve unsolvable problems. Expected guests absent or late. Plans falling apart, requiring hasty repairs. And then finally… We were married. I thought to myself: That's it, I can finally enjoy myself . Relax and celebrate our wedding.

But even then, another setback: the photographer had forgotten to charge his camera. Back then, there were no smartphones to save the day. The result: precious, unique, irretrievable moments… never captured.

The end of the evening was supposed to be quiet and discreet. We were meant to slip away peacefully, letting the party continue without us. In reality, the master of ceremonies had to leave at midnight and asked everyone to clean up—without consulting us. While we were dancing, we heard that everyone had to help tidy the room up quickly.

At that moment, I no longer had the will to fight. I let it be. We went home quickly, almost in silence. As if that day had never truly existed.

The lessons I learned from this DIY wedding

This wedding is not something I remember as an exceptional day. But it did teach me some profound lessons:

· You are worth enough to dare to ask for help, even financial help, so that this day belongs to you, instead of belonging to others.

· When you do everything on your own, you expose yourself to the possibility of others undoing what you have built, without measuring the impact.

· There are always unforeseen events… even within unforeseen events.

Some people can surprise you, sometimes in a good way or not, when you least expect it! Like at your wedding, for example.

Beautiful memories are not created through exhaustion, tension, and burden.

· And if you want to be the queen of the evening, you can't be her slave first.

Years later, I visited the Manoir Montpellier. They explained their methods, their organization, and their support for weddings. I also attended several events there. I was deeply moved.

If I had known…

Yes, my wedding cost less. But it also stole the happy memories I'd hoped for, memories I'll never be able to recapture. If I had to do it again, I would entrust it without hesitation to a professional team. To be present, to breathe, to love, to remember.

Before dismissing all-inclusive packages because they're too expensive, take the time to compare the actual cost, the stress, the time invested, and the energy required. Because ultimately, the most important thing isn't doing everything yourself… But

TO HAVE FULLY LIVED ONE OF THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE:

Make a choice that reflects who you are !